today was the due date of our miscarriage,
i honestly thought i'd be pregnant again by this date..
i am slowly trying to accept over and over again
things don't always happen when we want them to happen.
6 months of trying,
a couple of weeks out of every month
are full of anticipation
then followed with disappointment and sadness
i get emotional about it all
i wonder why it is that we haven't been blessed with another pregnancy
then I wonder what it is that we are suppose to be learning from all of this.
is there something that is going to happen to our family,
that means we aren't suppose to have a baby right now?
do i need to be doing something different?
why is it that now is not the right time for our family,
but not the case for just about everyone else on "facebook".
so many question and no answers
time will tell and that's the most frustrating part of it all.
honestly I look at all the trials that could be handed to us..
and this is something so so little
something that in the big picture of things I would much rather take over other things
but I still get let down every month.
still have feelings of disappointment
still an emotional wreck on the inside when the "not pregnant" shows up
luckily the feelings fade and i'll go back to being ok with it all
until the next round of anticipation comes.
it's like a little emotional roller coaster month after month.
i try not to "stress" over it all,
which i would probably tell you i don't stress about it..
but in all reality there is that stress factor that just naturally comes
even if you try so hard to avoid thinking about it all.
it just there, whether you want it to be or not.
the thing i hate most is people told me
"fertility goes up after miscarriage"
not the case for us
i haven't updated much on the miscarriage process, the last time was back in February..
but i felt it was time to at least update
Our Miscarriage/Trying to get Pregnancy Journey // read about it here