Tuesday, May 20, 2014

13 Weeks




St. Patricks Day was extra lucky for me this year when I read the words PREGNANT!
It was a day I had been waiting for, for what seemed like forever and I couldn't wait to share
the news with my little family!

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant, the picture above was taken last week at 12 weeks.
We are due November 25th if all goes well!!

This pregnancy has been VERY different than with Lexi and the miscarriage..

I did write down thoughts & updates around week 8,
so I'll share those.. and update the rest

8 weeks-
This pregnancy has been hard, way worse than what I experienced with Lex.

I'll start back at Week 5 - I spotted the entire week.. which sent my anxiety and worse nightmare through the roof. I totally thought I was miscarrying for a second time, after a year + of not getting pregnant that was the last thing I wanted to be experiencing.. It kinda stayed low key and no big cramping however I did get other pains which I fully over-analyzed. I decided to wait it all out until my already scheduled 6 week appointment and let the miscarriage take its course.. it never did so I started to think my body just didn't know how to get rid of a miscarriage... and I dreaded having another D&C.

Well the spotting ended after 5 days, and for 2-3 days I didn't even have the nerve to tell anyone it had stopped because I was afraid it would come back... right as it was stopping (towards the end of week 5 almost 6) I started getting pregnancy symptoms I never experienced with Lex or the miscarriage. I was getting car sick and feeling major sluggish. Once I stopped bleeding and started feeling pregnant I felt like I could actually still really be pregnant and that I wasn't going to miscarry.
I received a priesthood blessing and we were praying like crazy.

"Stop thinking of what could go wrong and start thinking of what could go right"

I went into my 6 week appointment feeling pretty optimistic! Tyson had to work and luckily a neighbor took Lex for me. I didn't dare take her because I knew if it was bad news I wouldn't be able to keep it together and I didn't want her to witness all of that. At the appointment I had an ultrasound first and they confirmed I was pregnant.. but I kept waiting to make sure there was a heart beat before I got too excited.. he found one and showed it to me on the screen (I now know exactly what to look for) and went on to find that I had hematoma, which is what caused my bleeding. Now I still have mixed feeling on whether Hematoma is actually still dangerous for me or baby.. because I still had a scare factor that didn't leave me but the chance of it causing a miscarriage were still pretty slim. I was told to stay on "vaginal rest" for two weeks until my next check up to make sure the bleeding cleared up. Well she didn't have availability for almost 3 weeks.. so I am still waiting for that appointment. I should be going in next Monday for a sono and to check on things.

In the mean time Week 6-8 have been pretty much crappy. ha
I have thought so many times
"I wish I could just go back to Lexi's pregnancy where everything was so smooth
and I was so naive to all the crappy parts/worries of pregnancy"
seriously, I am so so grateful I am not still waiting for those two lines to show up and I even told myself I would not be like all those other people who don't enjoy their first trimester because they worried too much of getting attached in fear of losing it again. But it became inevitable once I saw that first spot of blood. I then became sad that I shared the goods news with Lexi . Because believe me this girl is SO SO excited to be a big sister. She has prayed for this baby for the last 6 months straight and will randomly talk about our baby and how she is so excited..
even picks out clothes for the child.
So once the bleeding started I had to go into prep mode and let her know we just had to pray
it would stay healthy because we weren't promised that. 

So for the most part I just feel yucky, sense of smell has heightened, no food sounds good but I know I have to eat something every few hours to kick nasuea so its hard to pin point what I eat, I could sleep all day and some days I actually have not removed myself from bed. Lexi I swear knows exactly whats going on and just hangs out with me in bed all day and watches tv.. totally content. Totally thoughtful that I don't feel good and for the most part fends for herself getting her her own snacks and isn't her needy self. She is seriously the sweetest child and I could not have been given a bigger blessing.

I have thrown up 3 times throughout the last two weeks but still feel nauseous every day. (Never threw up with Lex) I am pretty sure Sunday night I got a massive migraine because I could not kick what I thought was a headache.  I normally get signs or triggers that I know a migraine is about to come on.. but I never got tingly and I never saw spots so I didn't think it was a migraine..  that night I threw up and didn't feel any better after and the next day I woke up with it worse and it was the pounding headache anytime I was vertical. I felt like I needed to throw up all day and cursed the fact that I took an anti-nasuea medicine because at that point all I wanted to do was throw up to get it out of my system.. but it just lingered with me for the ENTIRE day. The medicine didn't take the icki'ness feeling away & it seems like it made it all worse. But then again i could have had a migraine so everything just felt worse than normal. Luckily today I woke up feeling a small throbbing in my head (which went away with Tylenol) and a little icky but not like the day prior so I decided that I would get my bum up and shower and get some things done. Easter is less than a week away and my creative mommy mind has been so far gone and I have nothing even planned to make it feel like a special Holiday.

This is what kills me the most is that I just want my energy back, which brings me back to right now.. I have noticed I can somewhat manage a normal day if I just stay on the go.. even if i start feeling yucky, it's kinda like a double edged sword because I get soo tired and still feel yucky all I want to do is just lay on the couch.. but as soon as I do that.. it's like the crappy feeling intensifies and there is no luck in getting me back off that couch. So today I ran errands, and instead of sitting down to watch tv with Lex I made myself come upstairs and sit on a hard chair and start writing out this post.
It has seemed to work because I am managing to not feel like complete crap yet.
I have been afraid to actually document anything up to this point
because I have been afraid of gynxing things.


Week 9-11
I went in for my ultrasound and the hematoma was completely gone!
Feeling every pregnancy symptom possible.
Totally feeling like I'm showing / bloating like crazy.
The baby looked more like a baby and less like a blob and I'm getting more sick.
Allergies have been torturous on top of all this pregnancy sickness.
Hasn't been fun, don't feel normal at all and a little emotional about it all.
Lexi is the best, when I complain of not feeling well she just says "Mom I'm here for you"
and she has patted my back many of times when I've been over the toilet.
Seriously love her & I know she will be the best helper with the new addition!


Week 12
I bought a fetal doppler, this week was the first time I have found the heartbeat at home!
I can already tell this thing is going to be a lifesaver with stress!
Allergies are starting to calm down a little bit and can be controlled with zyrtec and eye drops.
Having more normal days.. but still got sick twice this past week and still feeling uneasy.
We had our First Trimester Ultrasound (NT) Scan
-it was the most amazing ultrasound, we got to see so much detail of the baby!
Our baby was jumping all around and it made it so real, I can't wait to feel those kicks again!
It has also been emotional and exciting to finally have made it to week 12!


I will be so excited when my first trimester is over!!
I still can't figure out if that's at 13 or 14??
I will honestly just be happier when i'm not getting sick anymore
so who knows how long that will linger!

18 comments:

  1. This post made me so happy! We're really excited for you. Sorry about the sickness. I've been sick with every pregnancy, but the twins were horrific. Ledge was raised on TV for 8 months, with his mom laying on the couch or in front of the toilet :) Hang in there. Growing a baby is hard work. Can't wait to find out the gender!

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    1. Thanks Ash!! I can't even imagine 8 months of it! I would be pathetic!

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  2. Oh Congratulations!!! Lexi sounds like the best little helper. Best wishes on feeling better soon and getting to enjoy this pregnancy more!!!

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  3. Thank you for documenting everything! I was so excited yesterday when I saw your announcement! I was talking to my best friend about it and we both thought it was funny that nether of us know you in person, but because of your blog, we feel like we are friends. I couldn't be happier for you though!

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  4. So excited for ya'll! What a great documentation!

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  5. Aw how very exciting for you and so happy everything is working out! Hopefully being out of the first trimester will kick your nausea!

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  6. I was confused whether 13 or 14 weeks puts you in the 2nd trimester, too. But either way I think 13 weeks is "out" of the "danger zone" which is all we're wanting, really! Pregnancy is such a blessing, but it is also stressful when we know how to worry! Good luck with everything. Hopefully you're feeling better soon.

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  7. I'm so excited and happy for you and your family as i would be for one of my sister's, and yet again i'm just another stranger/blog, pinterest and instagram follower of you. i felt just like that when i was pregnant with my first, it went away at 16 weeks, hang in there, is completely worth it. Lexi is the sweetest/cutest thing ever.

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  8. Wow, what a strong woman you are! Thank you for sharing this, Lindsey! It was exactly what I needed to read. I wish we could be closer to help. I'm glad to hear your neighbors were able to help out with lex, I hope that's the case more often! We'll remember you and your family in our prayers. Can't wait to hear more and hope you start feeling better and get your energy back. oxox

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  9. I am really really really happy for you!!!!! I am sure everything will be fine, stay strong!!!!

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  10. beautiful bump!
    so happy for you!

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  11. Wow, what a story. I can relate with you in so many ways--we'll have to chat more. So happy for you but so sorry you have been so sick. Hang in there and hope the worst is over soon.

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  12. Congratulations Lindsey!! I am so, so happy for you!
    xoxo, em

    according-toem.blogspot.com

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  13. WOW just WOW. God is awesome!!! ive been following your journey and am so excited and thrilled for you! CONGRATS!!!!

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  14. Congrats!! I have been thinking about you and your journey lately and this makes me so happy to read! Best wishes

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